freelance dogs

Nelson Cruz makes Andrew Bailey cry with his Boomstick:

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1. Jon Daniels has been vehemently (and correctly) criticized for some of the trades he has made as GM. But take a look at the last four major deals he has made and tell me if they don’t make you giggle:

Deal 1: Kenny Lofton to Cleveland for minor-league C/DH Max Ramirez (currently feasting on AA pitching at Frisco.

Deal 2: Mark Teixeira and Ron Mahay to Atlanta for C Jarrod Saltalamacchia, SS Elvis Andrus (next year’s shortstop, possibly), LHP Matt Harrison (just threw a no-hitter at Frisco), LHP Beau Jones and RHP Neftali Feliz (flamethrower currently playing for Clinton).

Deal 3: Eric Gagne to Boston for LHP Kason Gabbard, OF David Murphy and minor-league OF Engel Beltre (an 18-yr old freak – testimony here).

Deal 4: Edinson Volquez to Cincinnati for OF Josh Hamilton.

The man deserves to keep his job. I don’t care what anyone says.

2. A stab at what the Ranger lineup will look like circa 2010. This doesn’t even take into account what the Rangers might be able to get for Blalock or Laird, both of whom I’m assuming will be flipped, or some of the younger prospects, such as Beltre. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Daniels uses Milton Bradley as a trade asset this year to commit another Gagne-like heist.

C: Saltalamacchia, Taylor Teagarden, Max Ramirez
1B: Chris Davis
2B: Kinsler
SS: Andrus
3B: Young
LF: Murphy
CF: Julio Borbon (2007 1st rd draft pick)
RF: Hamilton
DH: Max Ramirez

I’m no good at projecting pitching. Someone else can take a stab at that.

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That whistling sound – you hear it?  Sounds like surgical steel moving very quickly through the muggy Texas air…

That whistling is the guillotine dropping on Ron Washington’s head.  It will happen within 72 hours.  Write that down.

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From ESPN, after the 19-6 debacle:

DETROIT (AP) — The Detroit Tigers’ biggest inning in four years could mean a lot more to the foundering Texas Rangers. Manager Ron Washington’s job might be in jeopardy.

And from whence might ESPN have drawn that conclusion? Why, from Ron Washington himself!

“Any time a team is in a losing streak, the manager’s job is on the line,” Washington said. “It falls on me when the team isn’t playing well. I’m the manager… that’s the way it goes.”

Ron could use some guidance in learning to recognize those times when silence is golden.

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2 games to go in Avery Johnson’s Mavericks coaching career, by my estimate. Too harsh? Do you have any faith that they can win? Surprise me, Mavs. A few questions/observations for Avery (potential future employers, pay attention):

1. Why on earth has Jerry Stackhouse started the first two games of this series? This is the same Jerry Stackhouse who missed 9 of the last 10 regular season games, returning only to play a bit role as the Mavs blew out the Hornets in the season finale? He’s rusty, he’s old…why, Avery? Ol’ Jer responded by torching the Hornets for 14 points on 32% shooting during those two games. He’s wearing that twine out! Why not start Jason Terry, who’s been starting, who scored 30 in the finale, and with whom the team had some moments over the last several games where things finally ‘clicked’? Or for heaven’s sake, Eddie Jones, who showed some signs of life down the stretch? What could you possibly have been thinking? Instead, Stack has sucked, Terry apparently has been thrown off his rhythm, and…do we have any other guards? Because they’re sure as hell not playing much. This just in: Tyronn Lue wasn’t even active tonight so that J.J. Barea could dress? Lue, who shot over 50% from 3-pt land since becoming a Mav? It’s like you’re trying to get fired, man.

2. What is your rotation, Avery? Do you even have a clue?

3. Stand around for 20 seconds, throw up a jumper – people have figured out the offense. What else have you got?

4. Josh Howard is not a stopper. Get over it. He is, however, a drug addict. Aside: Way to drag out an old story and drive down Howard’s value right before the Mavs try to trade him, DMN. Dillholes. Really, though, I shouldn’t be bitter – Howard is ruining his reputation anyway by turning himself into a passive jumpshooter at age 28.

In other news, the Rangers are now down 7-2 and on their way to a 7-14 record. Ron Washington’s public statements bear not even the faintest resemblance to the reality of the team. Daniels has already summoned him for a come-to-Jesus meeting. He’s on the hot seat for the second time in his two-year managerial career. Will he make it to June? Or should we be debating which team hires him as its third-base coach next year?

Be cheered by the success of our local minor-league franchise…the Stars, if you don’t follow.

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In case you didn’t notice (entirely possible) the Texas Rangers began their season on Monday in Seattle.  It would be easy to blow that off completely.  After all, the Rangers have been nothing but disappointing for about the past decade or so.  Add to this the following facts: the baseball season is too long, games are too slow to watch regularly and the FW/D area is dominated by other sports, particularly football.

I for one don’t have the time or interest to watch the Rangers’ season.  I wish I did – I recall fondly the days when my leisure time included laying on the couch and drifting off to the Texas Rangers on television.  I didn’t have a care in the world.  Life was good.

Of course, life is good now too.  I have a lot more going on, so wasting 45 seconds of my life in-between pitches for 3.75 hours is not something I can do.  I have a wife on the way that would surely make my life a living hell if the Rangers were a nightly thing.  I go to school, have a demanding job, and am in the middle of trying to write a novel (silly rabbit.)  Your life probably sounds like mine, which is why you don’t have time for baseball either.

But let’s make a pact together shall we?  Let’s follow the Rangers this year.  Let’s look in the paper every morning to see how they fared last night/early this morning on their latest of seventy-five-million west-coast trips.  Let’s see what Josh Hamilton did with his tattooed forearms, Ian Kinsler with his babyface and lets see if Michael Young continued to be the Sports Metroplex’s best example of consistency that we have seen this decade.  Let’s see what young pitcher may have stepped up, and which one may have stepped back.

By now you must be looking at me cockeyed.  “Why the hell should I waste my time on that?!” you may say.  Fair enough.  Let me shock and awe you with a simple revelation: (Read the article)

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